Friday, January 9, 2009

last excerpt from " Eunuchs of the World Unite"

This is the beginning of the ' husbands-of-the-wives-etc" bit. It's where the eunuch grabs a piece of the action; when the unrelenting Company machine begins to turn; when a harmless word, like 'product' becomes more than just a promiscuous object of idle pleasure. So!


But first! Tke heart. Do not Weaken. Remember the Spirit of the Alamo! You are about to be hit by:

Telephones ( if the kids answer get 'em to speak with a posh accent)
Memos ( containing double-entendres of the most dubious validity)
counter-memos ( someone must'v got the joke)
Counter counter memos etc
Window displays
Flip charts
Trade figures
Market-share figures
Trade journals ( if you're reading this, you're hooked)
Portable kiosks
Daily reports
cyclic reports
Sickly reports..........

There is much more; and for all this you have to make house-room!

Added to this there are the apparently endless lists of abbreviations. The MNENONICS. Abounding in absurdity, these gems of Babylonic euphoria will issue from the mouth of your letter-box like they were going out of fashion-- and they probably are. Space - and common decency- prevent me from translating the more obvious ones into good wholesome filth.

This is not, however, something with which the 'other half of CompanyGirl' should concern himself. After all, these, would you believe (?) are our weapons of war. That is to say, from all this we shall derive an income! So, don't get confused. Let me simplify the position - in a nut-shell

'We are incorporated into the structural composition of a structured philosophy, inter-complexed via standardized methods of psychological intent, wherein formalised concepts, conceived and motivated from the earliest conceptual stages emanating from socio-economic pressures upon the Company, are integrated with, and applied to, an overall theme within quasi-ethical bounds, whose charismatic qualities- predetermined per current market trends and their embracing fluctuating accepance attidues- will simultaneously influence and infiltrate, through continuous phase-by-phase analysis, balanced by application of subversive intrusion upon the competitors' integrity, market-availability,thus achieving product growth. "
The resultant factor being --We sell more 'product' than they do!!

So what does all this garbage mean in practical terminology?

(Employment of Means, Fair or Foul, to Actuate Total International Control over Sales)

As you are , no doubt, beginning to see, our role in the Company business can be pretty extensive. It can be fun. We don't have to sit at home saying: " If only I'da been a woman it'da
been different" or " There's no justice in this world".Half the judges are women anyway!
No........ we have a positive contribution to make. I's all a question of taking stock of the situation and turning it to our advantage.........................

That is it for today I hope you enjoyed the excerpt. Ah well time to do the 'woman' thing and prepare supper- best feed the dogs first. Have a good evening ( or day if you are further away)

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