FEAR OF FLYING

Firstly I would like to say how devastated I was to see the news this morning of plane crash at buffalo with a loss of 49 lives. I cannot even begin to imagine the grief of the families who lost their loved ones. My heart goes out to them.

I have a genuine fear ( more like a terror) of flying!
I expect all those of you who regularly fly from place to place around the world will not quite understand this fear. Perhaps not all of you are always comfortable when boarding a plane, even nervous -- BUT YOU DO IT! I cannot. It has been a dread of mine since I was young and repeatedly had nightmares about a plane crashing. Bizarrely so, I was never actually in the plane when it crashed.

Actually, I did try flying 3 times! When I was in my late twenties and was an executive , I had to fly from Manchester to the Isle of Man for meetings. The situation was that I found I couldn't let go of the seat, I felt so traumatised. Each time it got worse so that was the end of that.

Pills, potions, drink, hypnosis, counselling etc etc, all of those were never an option for me. I am anti all drugs, and a control freak and always have been . So now we travel around Europe on terra firma in a camping car, which is great- honestly! Nevertheless I do have this nagging feeling now I am pegging on a bit, that I will never get to see the really exotic places. Oh I forgot to mention that I am also not happy on a boat either, unless I see land in view! I can hear you thinking " this lady is a freak", and you might be right, although friends and family consider me to be reasonabley normal.
Ah well I guess I shall just have to live with it unless anyone can come up with a solution?

MOMENTARY NOTE.....by Alex

The eye pauses,

breath scattered its imperfections;

without speaking

a dog passes,

and we're supposed to be friends.

My daughter

with her individual fingers

collectively touches my brain,

scratching new words

with a nail

about my dripping mouth.

And her ear the cup I fill

saying, sing me that song

again, father;

it sounds wrong,

or if not wrong, then oddly right.

My voice, disarmed,

picks up some other air

from a different corner,

trembling,

how the tongue tastes fear,

her question counts my age.

IS THIS PAINTING BY A FAMOUS ARTIST?

Back in 1973 , Alex and I bought a lovely old timber framed house near the Medway towns in Kent, England. The house was a bit ramshackle but ideally large for our family of four daughters in that it had 4 bedrooms. A strange old lady had lived there with her 3rd husband , and we soon learned from the local police inspector that she and her family had quite a ' history'. She kept a pet chimpanzee whom she used to dress in childrens clothes which we found was also bizarre. However we did go ahead and bought this house with its pretty gardens.

Not long after moving in we were rummaging around in the attic when we came across the above painting, and also some beautiful old victorian glass photography plates which we knew were quite valuable. The painting itself was genuinely old and had a gash ( which you can see in the photo) as though someone had slashed it with a knife; the signature had worn away , but on the back was (is) a yellow ( with age) sticker stating that it was exhibited during the last world war as a painting by Benjamin Robert Haydon, the famous English historical painter. We waited for the lady to come back and claim the articles which she had left behind, which she did eventually , but she only wanted the glass plates. We took the painting to Sotheby's in London, but they couldn't definitely identify it , but did advise us to have it cleaned and mounted ( which we did) but advised us not to have it repaired. Since then it has taken pride of place in all of our homes ( we moved about a lot) but we still don't know the origin of this painting;

Is there anyone out there who can help?

WHAT IS GOOD ABOUT BLOGGING?

Since I started blogging, this January, I have found that it has really taken over my thoughts and my life! It is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing at night! How SAD is that? Am I normal? I want , so much, for the blog to be interesting , and, hopefully, informative.

I have found though, that I derive great pleasure from expressing my thoughts and ,on this blog, my late husbands words . It is cleansing and gives me particular satisfaction knowing that some people are actually reading it; even if they weren't,I know the pleasurable feeling would be the same. What I hadn't expected though, was the community feeling, the knowledge gained through others blogs, the making of new invisible friends ,the sharing of ideas, and basically the FUN of it all .

The down side is that my pile of ironing us getting ever higher, the dogs are not getting so many walks, the housework has gone to pot, I am piling on pounds through lack of exercise, and I wonder why the days seem much shorter. Perhaps I should get out more?

My Lovely Doberman

In an earlier post about my dogs, I featured my two Afghan Hounds in a photo and mentioned that I would post a picture of my lovely doberman;

Here he is in all his glory , and this photo was entered in Charlie's Alphabet Challenge , see post below for information.

My favourite one

FUNERAL

A cortege has just passed.

Huge black motor cars

cutting their ponderous way

through the street. The occupants

all have washed this morning,

and donned black habits

and white manners through which

little grains of shock discreetly

stammer on whisky breath

of spiked dawn tea, and tangle

in the netting and respectable gloom.

There are tell-tales on the faces:

poor whoever it was

going to a better place

there was a smile on his face

he's at rest, you see

thank God it's not me.

Something comforting about a funeral,

somebody else's; second chance perhaps.

Cars of all colours belting past now.

The street takes a deep breath

and smiles as though it had never happened.

This is my favourite poem of Alex, my late husband, who always managed to see the funny side of things, and remark on them.

WHERE HAS TODAY GONE?

I cannot believe that it's 7.30 in the evening and I have achieved practically nothing all day! Or have I ? Let me look back at my day...........I awoke at 8am watched the SKY news with the first cuppa, showered, plastered on the make -up hoping it would take off 5 years ( it never does, but I feel better when I can hide behind it), then bounced ( yes I did say bounced) downstairs to take breakfast (toast & coffee) with my partner and my cousin ( who I havent seen for years) who is staying for a few days. UMM, then we talked, swapped family photos, went out to town to show off the nice bits ( cathedral, river, park etc), bought a baguette for lunch, and drove home again; Then we had lunch, I had a nap (I KNOW) for an hour then we played with the dogs, took a tour of the grounds - a slow tour-, etc etc. Finally watched deal or no deal and then I came to the office realising that I hadn't played with my computer all day!!!! So here I am, disgusted with my totally unproductive day and having just 10 mins to find something to write about before I get ready to go out for dinner. So there it is -- in a nutshell.

Hope you lot did something better --have a good day/evening x

Alphabet fun

check out Charlies' alphabet challenge on the ' laughter Minute' blog ( see my bloglist), it's fun. You have to post a photo a day for the whole of February- each photo has to associated with the letter of he alphabet eg A for feb. 1st - B for feb.2nd and so on. Best photos will be judged. I have joined in and I wish him luck.

As Before, Comment Defines Expertise For Good Honest Ideas. Judge Kindly Little Magical Nuances On Photos, Quaint, Rich, Sensual Touches Uncover Valuable Ways, Xceeding Your Zeal!

errr used a little bit of poetic licence!